Things that Hallmark cards Dont say

[Anakage]

Things That Hallmark Cards Don't Say

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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
________________________________________________

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
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Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
________________________________________________

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
________________________________________________

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
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I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
________________________________________________

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
________________________________________________
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

[Melly]

hahahaha, those are great!

[mystic]

LOL

[Marcus]

Wow so funny, except for that Uncle Dad one, esp since I'm from Tennessee. I can officially say that I dont know anyone with an uncle dad or anything like that. Now maybe if it was Alabama... ;D

[Roh]

Alabama is notorious.

[Tchrspest]

Hehehe.... pretty good.

[Damascus]

I have to say the same about WV, we aren`t as bad as people make us out to be. ;D

[Roganu]

NICE. xD

[twizitdfate]

hehe that was great. I needed a good laugh :"}